Friday, June 01, 2007
The Boob Fairy
Boobs get bigger when the woman gets pregnant I was amazed at how big my wife's boobs got when she had our first baby.
Her boobs suddenly got really big. And I thought, “Boy, this isn’t so bad after all. I’m going to like these a lot.”
It’s like the boob fairy came overnight and made them bigger and more beautiful than ever before.
Then I realized that they weren’t for me. They were for the baby.
“What? I can’t even kiss them? I can’t hold them? I can’t play with them at all? That’s not nice.”
Who decided on this arrangement? I’m the one who got her pregnant and made them that big. I should at least be able to play with them some. The baby won’t enjoy them nearly as much as I would.
Besides, they’re two of them. The baby can only take one at a time. Why can’t I have the other one?
Suddenly, I became a big baby. “I want to play with them now. They’re mine. Let me play with them.”
She made it clear that I couldn’t play with them for a few months.
A few months? I won’t last that long. I want them now. Besides in a few months they will be back down to normal.
The boob fairy is not a nice person. If she were she would make it okay for the daddy to play with his wife’s new boobs.
You women don’t understand what a fascination we men have with boobs. Give us a cold beer and a set of boobs and we’re happy. That’s all it takes for us to shut up, beer and boobs.
You want your man to mow the lawn, buy you that new jewelry, take you on that special trip, show him your boobs and we’ll do it.
Boob power. It’s really amazing.
I believe we’re fascinated by boobs so much is because we don’t have boobs. All we have are two nipples and no boob around d them. If we had boobs, we wouldn’t get married. I wouldn’t even leave the house. I’d be sitting home all day on the couch caressing myself and thinking, “Man, I feel good.”
Boobs can turn a man of steel into a man of rice paper. We will kill over boobs. We will start a war over boobs. Boobs are the most powerful thing in the world besides Ajax.
The other day I walked in while she was feeding the baby and I swear, he looked at me and winked. That’s just not right.
Her boobs suddenly got really big. And I thought, “Boy, this isn’t so bad after all. I’m going to like these a lot.”
It’s like the boob fairy came overnight and made them bigger and more beautiful than ever before.
Then I realized that they weren’t for me. They were for the baby.
“What? I can’t even kiss them? I can’t hold them? I can’t play with them at all? That’s not nice.”
Who decided on this arrangement? I’m the one who got her pregnant and made them that big. I should at least be able to play with them some. The baby won’t enjoy them nearly as much as I would.
Besides, they’re two of them. The baby can only take one at a time. Why can’t I have the other one?
Suddenly, I became a big baby. “I want to play with them now. They’re mine. Let me play with them.”
She made it clear that I couldn’t play with them for a few months.
A few months? I won’t last that long. I want them now. Besides in a few months they will be back down to normal.
The boob fairy is not a nice person. If she were she would make it okay for the daddy to play with his wife’s new boobs.
You women don’t understand what a fascination we men have with boobs. Give us a cold beer and a set of boobs and we’re happy. That’s all it takes for us to shut up, beer and boobs.
You want your man to mow the lawn, buy you that new jewelry, take you on that special trip, show him your boobs and we’ll do it.
Boob power. It’s really amazing.
I believe we’re fascinated by boobs so much is because we don’t have boobs. All we have are two nipples and no boob around d them. If we had boobs, we wouldn’t get married. I wouldn’t even leave the house. I’d be sitting home all day on the couch caressing myself and thinking, “Man, I feel good.”
Boobs can turn a man of steel into a man of rice paper. We will kill over boobs. We will start a war over boobs. Boobs are the most powerful thing in the world besides Ajax.
The other day I walked in while she was feeding the baby and I swear, he looked at me and winked. That’s just not right.
Labels: children, family, funny, humor, kids
